


Lost at Sea

by TheCosmicSlaughter



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Psychological Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2019-09-15 15:58:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16936254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCosmicSlaughter/pseuds/TheCosmicSlaughter
Summary: "Do you hate me?" He asked, eyes never leaving the vastness of space.My answer came without hesitation "yes."





	1. Prelude

i only caught a glimpse of white armor before a fist yanked at my hair, bringing my knees into the dirt. the butt of a large white gun bludgeoned the side of my head. for a moment all I heard was buzzing. I could see a man's mouth moving but the words didn't register. he looked angry. all the way from the snarl of his lips to his blood red hair. bright bolts of light entered and exited people right before they dropped to the ground around me. everyone was running but I couldn't.

I didn't recognize a single face among the scattering crowd.

shouldn't I though?

hadn't I just been in my kitchen?

I looked up, not at a man but at a ghost. a demon wearing a white helmet- gloved fingers kept me immobile.

**"what do they call you, _scum_?"**

i swallowed thickly "Priya."

**"where do you come from?"**

_"Los Angeles,"_


	2. I Didn't, I Don't.

"What have you to do with the Resistance?"

My palms slipped on the cold floor- the blood dripping from my forehead smeared into it by my fingers. I didnt know how to respond. I didn't know what he wanted me to say. " _What Resistance?_ _"_  

I was hit again, this time by a fist. I could tell the Red Man wasnt the one by the plastic sound of the soldier's armor. That's what they were. Soldiers. All in neat rows in front of and behind me. It was just me and him in a sea of white helmets and guns full of bullets made of light.

It didnt make sense

I didn't know how i got there in the first place. 

All i remembered was blowing out my fucking candles and opening my eyes to _corpses_.

"So then you were _forced_ to take refuge in a rebel camp? an involuntary residency that just happened to end when we came to investigate?" His tone was practically dripping with malice. 

I didn't have to look up to see the rage in his expression. I could feel it. I could hear it in every word he spoke and every step he took towards me.

A foot shoved my head down for a hard slam into the ground and the ringing sound returned as i pushed myself up again. "Rebels... I dont..." I couldn't even- i didnt know what was going on. What was happening? 

**_What is happening?_ **

"Don't lie to me, _scum."_  

I was pulled up one last time by my hair, and one of the soldiers aimed at me with a long weapon I'd never seen before. He had a black stripe on one side of his helmet and waited for the Red Man to continue. 

"I know you've conspired with those _vermin-"_  

I was hit again and again as he threw accusations at me. There wasnt a thing i could do. Nothing i could tell him except the truth. 

That i didn't know where i was or how i got here 

That i didnt know anything about a rebellion or a war or-

"You'll die like the rest of them unless you tell me now."

I looked him in the eye for the first time, and for once i wasnt punished for moving my eyes from the ground.

I looked up into his, two intense blue irises framed by a crown of scarlet hair. Maybe he was born with it. Maybe he dyed it that color with the blood of his enemies...

The soldier; the one with the black stripe, stretched the weapon toward me. 

But before it's end could meet my neck everything faded once more

 

And i was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the chaoters after this one will get longer! Ive just been focusing on my other stories lately but im going to squeeze myself back into the movies and reawaken my passion for the characters because i had a reeeaaaalllyyy good plot idea for this one!


	3. The Room

I woke up expecting the feeling of warm flannel sheets embracing me. a flat old goose feather pillow folded in half beneath my head. The breeze of the air conditioning hitting my exposed foot.

I expected to see my tv. The only A+ i ever got in elementary school framed on my wall. Max's leash and collar hanging up by the door.

I expected to sit up and see my clothes from the previous day strewn about on the floor and i expected to promise myself I'd clean my room soon. I would have ambled to the kitchen and made myself toast but left it on the floor for Max instead of eating it. I would have done my homework and sent it in hoping my professor wouldnt catch any errors and went back to sleep.

It would have been nice.

But i hadn't expected...

I sat in the darkness for a while. A long while. Maybe the minutes ticked by more slowly because i couldnt tell the time of day but i could swear it had been at least twenty four hours. I was thirsty and hungry and cold and _what the fuck was going on?_

I might've been less confused- less afraid- if i could hear something.

_Anything._

But no. It was _so_ quiet in the room- was it a room? I pressed my cheek against the wall and my fingers against the floor to make sure i wasnt in a cave. If i felt wood i might even be in a box. The thought sent an unwelcome shiver up my spine.

In the silence i could practically hear my own pulse. The muscles in my neck made a fake, plastic sound when i moved my head.

I mightve gone mad.

Hell, _anyone_ would.

But then...

The crisp outline of a doorway lit up and i didnt have time to shield my eyes from the brightness before it opened. I couldn't tell who it was. A soldier?  The Chrome woman? The Red Man?

My neck cramped as i craned it back to search for a face. A hand. Anything that could tell me who was standing in front of me. I was afraid.

_so afraid._

A mechanical voice broke the silence.

**_"Shall we begin?"_ **


	4. Rather Be

I'm not sure what hurt more- the concussive lump on my head or the light hitting my eyes after so may hours of darkness. Both could be the winner if i thought about it. Each time i focused on one, the other suddenly felt worse.

I was still fully clothed, which was the only thing to be thankful for under the circumstances. Dried blood caked the side of my face- _my blood._ I'd never been hit before. Never even had a papercut, but the idea of stuff, of _**me,**_ spilling from the side of my head made me gag and tear up from the sting of bile in my throat. It crossed my mind once or twice that it would be better if i died. Maybe if i had any idea what would happen to me it wouldn't have but it did.

_I'd rather be dead._

The man, or at least i assumed it was a man from his height and the broadness of his shoulders, was one i hadn't seen before. He was all in black just like the Red Man, only he didnt have a face. Not one i could see anyways...

 "Do you know who i am?" 

I scoffed more in humor than bitterness. How could i know who the hell he was if no one had told me anything? My hair fell in my face but i didnt dare brush it back. If i didnt move maybe this time no one would hit me. I just let its black strands linger there in a curtain and hoped he wouldnt come closer " _Not a clue_ ," i laughed. 

I realized soon after that I'd completely placed my fears in the wrong place. If guns full of _light bullets_ and soldiers dressed as ghosts were a thing _wherever i was_ then perhaps there were more frightening things i wasnt thinking of- 

_And believe me, there were._  

_This whole thing was batshit crazy_

 I blinked slowly and furrowed my brow in confusion just before it happened. The unexpected and absolutely terrifying yank of my neck toward him in the middle of the room. Oh yes, there were far worse things to be afraid of than a punch in the gut or a slap in the face.

My neck could have been broken by that point and i wouldnt have noticed. All i was thinking was _how._ How did he do that and how could i get away before he did it again.

But there wouldn't be any escape for me.

And _that_ was made abundantly clear when my feet left the ground. I hovered and writhed and struggled against the invisible noose holding me in the air and the sheer terror took me as my vision began to fade

_"You_ _ **will.**_ _"_ He said

Just like that, i was back on the floor.

I didnt pass out this time. I so badly wanted to. I thought maybe if i drifted off one more time i would never wake up and that was all i could ask for. My dad always said everything happens for a reason. that people get what they deserve. But what could i have done to deserve this?

Was i such a terrible person? All i ever wanted to do was make them happy. Granted, i failed most of the time but i _tried._ I loved them. _I missed them._

Now, more than ever, i needed them and they weren't here but somehow it was all my fault. My fault i was in this mess, my fault i was alone, my fault i was suffering.

He turned on his heel and walked away but as he exited the room i felt the tug again. It burned and chafed and crushed at my neck until i stumbled after him at a sprint.

Once i was close to him, following just behind, it faded. I stayed inches behind him with the hope that it wouldn't happen again but every so often as we made our way through the steady stream of armored soldiers it would surface. A burning stranglehold that i couldn't escape

**I'd rather be dead...**


	5. For a Moment

_The bed shifted, bowing under the weight of the added body. Heavy panting and limbs digging into my leg through the blanket were a nuisance but a comfort. The light trickling in through my curtains were too._

_Beyond the blanket Max was whining, then howling then barking and i heard my mom's voice scolding in Portugese to 'hurry up or I'll give him the shoe!'. If the animal running in circles around my room hadn't woken me up, the image of my tiny mother chasing him with a flip-flop certainly had. I sat up slowly, stretching my arms toward the ceiling in a yawn._

_Woof, woof, woof_

_"Alright max,"_

_And silence_

_The hallway was quiet but sweltering hot. My dingus brother was supposed to fix the vent and since he never did the whole house worked up a sweat just walking between each room._

_Dick._

_The thump of Max's paws on the cherrywood floor was the only sound from my bedroom to the kitchen. He was polite enough to stop at the doorway with me, shooting a look of anticipation up as i did. But he sat anyways, waiting while i watched my mother flit from the sink to the stove. Good old Max. Good old Mom. Where would i ever find anyone more reliable- more familiar?_

_As i pondered I could almost hear my dad in the living room asking what we'd have for breakfast. Even though Mom's lips weren't moving, i could almost hear her reply._

_They argued back and forth, laughing all the while and he walked into the kitchen, square and muscular, to wrap his arms around her for a quick hug. The two of them looked into the hallway. Their eyes turned up at me and for a moment everything was perfect. Nothing mattered._

_Not my slipping grades or the fight i had with my brother the day before. Not my inability to decide what i wanted to do with my life or Mom's drinking habits or the funeral we'd attended just six weeks prior._

_My father's brown eyes smiled at me- i didnt even need to see his lips curve to know he was happy or that i was safe. Just his eyes._

_But when i looked away to meet my mother's he was gone._

_And all at once,_

_All over again,_

_I was alone._


End file.
